


A Day at the Zoo

by JemTheKingOfSass



Category: Free!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bromance, Lemurs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-12 18:49:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15346266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JemTheKingOfSass/pseuds/JemTheKingOfSass
Summary: Rin drags Sousuke to the zoo for a fun day out before graduating and leaving for Australia.





	A Day at the Zoo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CaptainScience](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainScience/gifts), [maybeillride](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeillride/gifts).



> The likelihood of any SR interaction is so low in s3 and it's killing me. I love their dorky sassy bro dynamic so much it hurts. Also, I would never have thought to write this without Teresa's strong aversion to animal sex.
> 
> Lala, you owe me nothing. Thank you for making me post this.  
> Teresa, this was never going to see the light of day beyond you and me, but somehow here we are.

 

 

**

 

“Get up.” A foot prods his thigh, and Sousuke muffles a groan. “I’m serious, it’s already 8:30 and the zoo opens at 10:00 and we have to catch the train so get your lazy ass out of bed.”

“Rin. If you don’t move your foot right this second, I will break it off and beat you with it,” grumbles Sousuke, though he and Rin are equally aware he can’t hurt Rin if he tries. Truthfully, he can’t hurt anyone if he tries. He’s all bark, no bite. This never bothers him, except when it fails to get Rin to do anything except laugh at him, which he is doing raucously right now, practically bent in half and holding his stomach.

Sousuke shoves at Rin while he’s slightly off balance, and he falls on his ass at the end of the bed, causing Sousuke a deep sense of satisfaction when he hears the indignant squawk come from his best friend. Too deep, considering the early hour and how late he was up the previous evening listening to Rin fidget and list off all the things on his to-do list before he even thinks about packing. Sousuke nodded at the appropriate times, but he honestly can’t recall half of what Rin prattled on about not more than six hours ago. He recalls that hitting the local zoo one last time before it’s permanently shut down was something mentioned frequently enough yesterday for it to easily spring back into the forefront of his mind this morning. Rin is likely well aware of Sousuke’s shitty listening skills and said it every quarter hour just to cement it into his brain. He grunts and slides down to the end of the bed, pushing past Rin on his way. 

“About time!” Rin cheers from his position on the top bunk. Sousuke stands idly in the middle of the room and wonders when Rin began spending more time up there than on his own bed below. The redhead scrambles down the ladder, grabs Sousuke’s black and teal towel, and thrusts it firmly into his chest. “Go shower. You’re on the clock. You have ten minutes. Go!” He presses some buttons on his watch before looking back up at Sousuke with raised eyebrows and an incredulous expression. Before his jaw can actually drop to the floor at the audacity Sousuke shows in not marching immediately to the bathroom, Sousuke turns with a sigh towards their small bathroom.

When he opens the door, steam dramatically billows out. “Rin. Did you start the shower for me?”

His roommate grins at him, eyes soft and sparkling. “Duh. I know you like it boiling.”

Sousuke smiles back at him, still tired but appreciative nonetheless. He turns back towards the bathroom, before pausing again. “Will I find clothes in there too?”

“Yep! I checked the weather and picked out an outfit for you. It has an extra layer you can take off since the sun is supposed to be baking us by lunchtime.” Rin is already crouched by his desk, packing a small bag with plenty of snacks, water, and sunscreen for a day spent on a tame outdoor excursion.

With a fond shake of his head, Sousuke leaves to take his shower and get dressed. He has eight minutes left. 

 

**

 

“Do you seriously need a map? This zoo is tiny, we can wander around and find anything we want to look at without the help of a guide.” Sousuke rolls his eyes and plucks the map out of Rin’s hand.

“Tch, like you can find anything without the help of a guide,” scoffs Rin, and snatches the map back and holds it out of Sousuke’s reach, eyes begging him to just try and come and get it. Rin is nothing if not a shameless tease, often forcing Sousuke into mindless games he doesn’t start out wanting to play, but enjoys once he’s engaged. 

They wander past the empty sea lion stage, Rin explaining that the shows for Sparky don’t begin until 1:00, and then are held every forty-five minutes until closing time, so they have to stay for awhile if either of them want to see that. Sousuke shoots his best friend a look that he hopes conveys how exceedingly little he cares about Sparky, and if he never sees the sea lion wave a greeting to him again it will be a day too soon. 

Rin still studiously pores over the map and jams his finger into the unfolded page. “There are two things I _need_ to do and everything else can be up to you.” He hands the map over for Sousuke to reluctantly accept, which he does, while simultaneously stopping himself from reminding Rin that his interests at the zoo are a nice round zero. “I want to go to the primate house and I want to check out the tropical trail. Can you handle those two things?”

Sousuke lets out an unattractive sound. “Rin. You know I hate monkeys. Can’t we skip them this time?” 

“What? That’s the best place here, plus monkeys are my favorite! Are you serious?” Rin splutters his reply, looking like Sousuke just drove over his obese cat, and then backed up over him just for good measure. “Please? We can skip the tropical trail and you can pick where we do lunch. Don’t make me skip the primates.”

Already knowing he’ll relent, he heaves a bone-weary sigh. “Of course we can, Rin. Maybe I’ll just wait for you outside the...” He trails off when Rin turns his aggressively sarcastic yet painfully hurt expression towards him, a look which Rin has mastered and Sousuke has yet to see anyone else replicate. “Fine. It’s fine. They aren’t _that_ bad.”

The amble towards the primate exhibit, Sousuke already hearing the chattering from the outside enclosure as they draw nearer. Rin draws his eyebrows together as he glances to the side, not looking overly pleased at getting what he wanted. “What about you? I’m starting to feel like I dragged you here against your will. Isn’t there anything you want to see?”

Sousuke throws out his hand to grab at a distracted Rin, who almost walks into a sign that is right in the middle of the path. “Well that’s a stupid place to put this,” he mutters, still holding onto Rin’s upper arm. His eyes are drawn to the brightly colored poster-cum-barricade, which boasts a brand new exhibit to close out the remaining six weeks of this particular local zoo’s life. There is no picture, but even Sousuke feels a small thrill at seeing that this dinky location temporarily houses a panda exhibit, especially considering how close the zoo is to it's demise. He appreciates pandas, and this place never has any cool animals; he thinks this experience is not such a bad idea after all. “Let’s see the panda after the monkeys.”

Rin’s face lights up like it’s his birthday as he tugs his arm out of Sousuke’s grip. “Excellent! A panda, that’s pretty awesome for a zoo this size. See? You found something you like. Are you going to be okay having a good time instead of being a grump or will that cause you to have a stroke or something?”

Sousuke doesn’t even have time to respond before Rin tugs him towards the howler monkeys swinging from their trees, just on the other side of large droopy nets. He gazes around in disbelief at the sheer number of people, Rin among them, perfectly content to stand against a fence staring at animals hanging from branches, picking their toes, and awkwardly loping around the grass. His companion is satisfied, so Sousuke fights a disgruntled smile as he watches the monkeys along with the crowd.

“Alright, let’s head inside,” states Rin, clearly ready to move on. “Small primates first, then the spider monkeys, then the orangutans, then the gorilla is last. She’s my favorite, although I feel a little sorry for her, trapped in a big glass box. She always looks sad.” Rin’s lips are slightly down-turned as he talks and his eyes reflect a slightly damp sheen. Not for the first time, Sousuke ponders how anyone could ever be intimidated by this giant marshmallow who is prone to tears. 

“Let start small Rin, and if you don’t wanna see the gorilla, we don’t have to,” soothes Sousuke, not wanting anything to derail a day Rin has fervently planned and anticipated for his waning time in Japan. 

They duck inside the primate house and are greeted first with the bushbabies, which Sousuke had forgotten about and never fail to disturb him. Their eyes are unnaturally large, their heads take up most of their body, and they are just plain weird looking. All the young kids and girls pressed against the glass are cooing and goggling at them though, which solidifies for him that he really really never wants children, especially not daughters, because then he’ll be dragged to a damn exhibit of bushbabies every weekend for the rest of his life, probably amidst lots of high-pitched squealing. Even Rin seems a little astounded at the level of enthusiasm for these creatures, so they sidle over to the next enclosure, which contains the ring-tailed lemurs. 

“Aww, they’re playing!”

“Look at them wrestle, son!”

“Oh my, that is so sweet, look how they’re cuddling!”

Sousuke cranes his neck, thankful for his height so he can see what all the adorable fussing is about. Rin is already on his tip toes and peering over people’s heads when he lets out a snort, hand flying to cover his mouth. His shoulders shake, the back of his neck flushes, his ears are practically glowing as tears threaten to trickle out of the corners of his eyes. Rin snaps his hand over to Sousuke’s arm and clenches his fingers down on his forearm so hard he thinks it might actually leave five long, slender bruises on his skin.

“Sousuke. Look. At. The lemurs. In the corner.” Rin barely manages to choke these words out in a hushed murmur. He’s so red, and holding in so much air, Sousuke thinks he might pass out at any moment. Now he really needs to see what the hell is going on behind that glass. He maneuvers himself to a slightly better spot and fixes his stare on the two lemurs in the corner who are playfully tussling. He’s about to look elsewhere in the enclosure for what has Rin so worked up, when he notices what exactly the two lemurs are doing, at the exact same moment he starts hearing the hushed whispers from the adults in front of him, squatting low to talk with their children. 

One lemur has its head against the glass, eyes fixed on the ceiling, hands resting on top of its compatriot’s head. Said other lemur has its own face buried between the legs of the reclining lemur, rhythmically bobbing its head up and down along what Sousuke can make out as a very small and very erect penis. He has never understood the phrase about one’s jaw hitting the floor, but that is where he’s at right now; he’s never seen anything like this. Well that’s not true, but he’s never seen a display in-person this close to him. He’d love to say he’s shocked or repulsed, he’s extremely thankful he’s not aroused, but what he’s feeling is exactly how Rin looks. He understands now. He senses the guffaw before it escapes his mouth, he tries to swallow it back down, which results in an odd whooping spit-cough with an abrupt gagging noise at the end that sounds like he might be dying. He knows he needs to avoid eye contact with his best friend, or that will be the end of the primate house for them, as well as any remaining innocence in the minds of the children with their faces still pressed against the glass. 

Sousuke cannot help himself. He sneaks a peek over at Rin, who is practically purple at this point in his desperate attempts at clinging to his rapidly dwindling composure. They lock eyes. Rin’s get really really big before he backs up into the half wall behind him, slides down it, and loses his mind in only the way that Rin can, with unrestrained dorky barking laughter that turns heads in his direction. Sousuke would love to mock him for this, but he’s laughing almost as hard, feels the tears running down his cheeks, and he keeps gasping out aborted meaningless phrases like “oh my god”, “oh no”, and “can’t stop”. He leans down over Rin and sinks to his knees. Their foreheads press together as they quake in unison. 

Finally, they gain some semblance of composure and Rin yanks him out of the primate house, all thoughts of mischievous chimpanzees and the depressed gorilla clearly out of his mind. The stumble out of the doors, back out into the bright sunlight, and take a few moments to breathe. Sousuke glances over and sees Rin looking back at him, lips clamped together, and they are gone again, another fit of mirth completely bowling them over. 

“Sousuke,” gasps out Rin. “I never knew, I mean, I just never knew!”

Sousuke would love to have an explanation ready for his childhood friend, but that was the most fucked up, hilarious thing he’s ever witnessed at a zoo before. “I don’t know what to tell you, Rin. Lemurs are givers, what else is there to say?”

“They’re fucking hedonists!” Rin cackles, as he pulls the map back out. He heaves a deep breath and shakes out his shoulders. “Alright, hooo, time for some more innocent fun, yeah? Let’s find you a panda.”

“Let’s hope he’s not getting deep-dicked by his grizzly bear neighbor when we get there.” Sousuke shakes his head and lowers his voice when he remembers his words could scar the children just as easily as the display of lemur love they recently witnessed. Rin must have the same thought because he gets a sharp elbow jabbed into his ribs. “Oof, alright alright. You’re just as bad, Rin.”

Sousuke and Rin meander along the path that splits off and winds them around to the special exhibit area. They walk through the entrance and see a short line waiting to pass through the curtain to the wonder of the panda that awaits. Rin shrugs off his small backpack and retrieves two protein bars, offering them both to Sousuke so he can choose between peanut butter and chocolate coconut. He plucks the peanut butter one from Rin, and inhales it, the laughter and early morning having made him hungrier than he realized up until now. Bless Rin and his preparation for every possible contingency. The line moves slowly, yet Rin and Sousuke pass the time talking about nothing but the crazy show they witnessed in the lemur exhibit. Eventually, they reach the front of the line and are mere moments from seeing a giant panda right in front of their eyes.

Sousuke turns to the redhead beside him, his best friend for as long as he can remember. “I’ve had fun today, Rin. I didn’t think I wanted to come today but this has been nice. Spending time with you is always a blast and it’s good you drag me out to do stuff.”

“Aww, Sousuke, so sentimental. Don’t get soft on me, I might not recognize you when I come back. I’ll miss all your patronizing sarcasm if you get _too_ nice,” teases Rin, eyebrow cocked and a smirk lifting the corner of his mouth. 

The zoo attendant motions them to pass through the curtain, to the last special exhibit this zoo will ever host. Sousuke thinks a giant panda is pretty fucking cool to be able to see up close and in his hometown. Rin steps up to the fence, and Sousuke stands beside him. His vision roams the enclosure, no large black and white animal to be seen. He frowns and turns to his companion, who is squinting and reading the plaque that explains the exhibit, finger running under the words.

“Uhh, Sousuke?” Rin gets his attention from where it had returned to the greenery on the other side of the fence. “Have you ever heard of a red panda?”

“No Rin, what the hell is a red panda?” Sousuke glares at him before resuming his search for the shockingly elusive creature supposedly in this enclosure. “And why do I care?”

“Well,” begins Rin, already using a tone which Sousuke knows to be one which tries to prepare him for something he’s not going to like. “A red panda is technically a panda, usually called the lesser panda actually, and sometimes even referred to as a red bear-cat. It is more closely related to weasels and mink than to the giant panda. You can usually find them on the low branches of a tree.”

“What are you saying, Rin?” Sousuke knows with stunning clarity what he’s saying, but wants his friend to clarify anyway. 

Rin bites his lower lip, a sure tell if there ever was one. “This isn’t a giant panda exhibit. Red pandas belong to the family called Mustelidae which means...” He trails off with a disappointed frown pinching his face.

Sousuke turns with a grunt and scowls at the tree, searching out the elusive beast. His eyes land on a small, red, furry creature perched on a branch. Rin must see the fake panda at the same time because he nods enthusiastically.

“That must be it! He’s cute, don’t you think?” Rin turns and pleads for Sousuke to accept this substitute so they can finish their zoo trip on a high note. No, he can’t. He cannot.

“Rin,” mutters Sousuke with a glower hot enough he thinks he could light that little impostor’s fur on fire if he just keeps staring long enough.

“No, but look how alert he looks!” Rin explains brightly, too brightly for Sousuke’s mood. “Wait I think he just yawned, come on, that’s adorable.”

Sousuke doesn't know what he was thinking a few moments ago. This was _not_ a particularly good idea for one of the last Saturday mornings Sousuke would have with his best friend before he leaves for Australia, to be gone for months. Months. And he couldn’t even get a damn giant panda out of the deal. All he got from his day was sore feet, a dry protein bar, the sun beating on his head, and a peep show from two pervy ring-tailed lemurs. He glances over at Rin, who gazes at him with an expression that blends affectionate and exasperated. As Sousuke looks, he realizes that he feels the exact same way about Rin.

Sousuke sighs, but can’t help the smile that tugs at his lips. “It’s a goddamn fox, Rin.”

“Well actually, that board there explains that it’s really more like a-”

“It’s a goddamn fox.”

 

**

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is almost entirely a true story, I don't know what to tell you. I honestly could not write Sousuke without my irl Sousuke inspiration, he's a deadpan sarcastic teddy bear that keeps me in stitches. That last line is a direct quote that gets referenced in my house any time a red panda is brought up. It's about ten years later and he is still pissed and bitter.
> 
> Also, I managed another story without angst! Woot! (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑


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